Always the Elephant

The elephant in every room
Into which I stride
All eyes on Miss Never the Bride
Walking down the lonely aisle of life
Holding a wilting bouquet of pride
Faith in God,
Hope in community lost
Receiving judgment, hurtful thoughts,
Wrecking ball stares
Pity for a state no one cares
To change
That everyone seems to shame
I have no meaning
Til a He changes My Name
Mrs. Me would’ve been just the same
So why am I not enough alone
Nice to see you too,
Aren’t you glad just I came?
I played the game–
the way they wanted
Ended with me hurt, shattered, alone, disappointed
Haunted by ghosts in a tough marriage market
They ask what was wrong with him and what did he do
Why don’t we talk about what is right with me, though
I am wrong, they say
Been searching too long, they say
Waiting too long, they say
Saying no too long, they say
No matter what they say
Won’t let them hide my light away
It’s not about the them and the they
There’s no he, anyway
It’s all about me, I’m living my way.

An elephant never forgets, they say
Me, I’ll never regret doing things my way.

Bulbul Bash’akh is a diaspora desi writer, creative, and activist, who finds home moving between NYC, London, and Karachi.
Photo Credit.

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