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 Thursday, July 24, 2014 | 27 Ramadan 1435
  Children  
The space to feel blessed
A reader once told me in an offhand way, "Of course, you'll do differently with your own daughter." She'd just finished commenting on a draft of my memoir, and her remark caught me off guard. I'd written of my engagement at eighteen to the son of our closest family friends, but I hadn't meant to criticize my traditional courtship. A critique would've implied that I had regrets, that I wished I had dated other men, that I'd now seen the light and wouldn't do the same given the chance. ()


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Latest in Relationship & Sexuality

  Ask Salma  
On sibling boundaries and interfaith relationships
Ask Salma addresses sibling interactions and interfaith relationships.



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  Ask M  
Ask M: Your questions about online courtship/dating and preparing for the wedding night
Ask M answers your questions about online courtship and wedding night anxieties.


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  Ask Salma  
Dowry in Islam and questions about painful intercourse
In today's article, Salma responds to questions about dowry in Islam and to a newlywed bride about painful sexual intercourse.



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  Relationships   
Is this a date?
Dr. Farber bounced a black, leather whip in her palm when she said the ladies in our classroom would find Taoist sexual philosophy especially interesting. Taoist men, she explained, trained themselves to last. “That’s why a Taoist man is hard to find.” The room broke into an easy laughter. My lips went tight. Last at what? After class the curly-haired blonde guy that sat two rows over motioned me to his desk. He introduced himself as Matt and the woman standing next to him as Jen and said, “We’re getting a study group together. Interested?” ()

  Ask M  
The “helicoptor” mother-in-law and the race-conscious marriage suitor
In today's AskM column, M responds to one woman about how to deal with her mother-in-law, and another about her racially-conscious suitor.





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  Marriage  
Give Muhammad a chance
At 21 I married a man five years older than me. The second time around, at 31, I married a man five years younger than me.* Eight years into our marriage, it still sends little shock waves through people when I mention this. There are sometimes oooohs and aaahhhs, eyes get bigger and rounder, and I can almost see folks wanting to high five me and slap my husband on the back for biting the bullet and marrying an older, divorced, single mom. I have, no joke, been asked at least a dozen times how I managed to pull this off. ()

  Marriage  
A married woman
When I was growing up, my Iraqi-born mother responded to my requests to travel alone, consider schools out-of-state, or stay out late with friends with the same answer, “When you get married.” Once I got married, I’d be somebody else’s problem. Then, it wouldn’t be her place to tell me no. Then, it would be my husband’s job to worry about me.Marriage, in my adolescent mind, was the only way to an independent adulthood. Western culture may have referred to marriage as settling down, but I associated it with freedom ()

  Ask Salma  
Ask Salma: Advice to a worried wife and a misunderstood child
Today Salma responds to a worried wife and a misunderstood child.




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  Marriage  
Half Agony, Half Hope
“Do you have any children?” a nice woman making small talk asks me. I reply pleasantly, “No, I don’t,” but my inner monologue is racing. “Children? I don’t have children because I don’t have a husband. I don’t have a husband because I never had a romantic relationship with a guy. I never had a boyfriend, I’ve never even been kissed and I’m way older than Drew Barrymore was when she was in that movie with Michael Vartan! I’m older than Jesus ( AS) when he was on this earth! Oh God, what if it’s too late for me to have children?“




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  AskM  
Ask M: Confusion about the men in my life
In today's AskM column, M responds to two women dealing with confusion and ambiguity about the men in their lives.





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  Poetry  
Alone
I am alone.
Surrounded by friends and a community that should understand me
They know me as popular, confident, and happy – supposedly.
My sisters dress the same, look the same, and crack the same jokes as me.
Yet when I look their way, my reflection does not stare back at me. ()

  Salma's Advice  
Ask Salma: Advice on a verbally abused mom and an angry son
In today’s column, Salma responds to a daughter whose elderly mother is in a verbally abusive marriage and a mother whose son seems unable to manage his anger.





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  Love and Family  
How Parental Wisdom Can Change Your Valentine’s Day
I’ve been through my share of cross-generational challenges, but lately I have met a place of rapprochement as I remember the things my parents have taught me, directly and indirectly, about relationships. Their wisdom has its roots in a land and culture so far away that the advice doesn’t always translate to the millennial ways of the Starbucks-drinkers and instant-satisfaction seekers. It is a wisdom that cannot be found in HuffPost articles, Buzzfeed lists or Facebook shares. ()

  AskM  
Ask M: Can I still find love and marital bliss after losing my virginity?
In today’s AskM column, M responds to two women: one who is struggling to with find a husband while having a sexual history, and one who feels overshadowed by her sister.




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  AskM  
M Responds: “The one who got away”
In today's AskM column, M gives advice to two women: one who cannot stop thinking about the past, and another who is learning how to find a partner on her own. ()

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