Relationships

Big love: Appropriating feminism in advocating polygamy

Stories about polygamy tend to surge and ebb in the media, but they never fail to intrigue people. Recently in South Africa, a Zulu man married four women–all at once–making the most popular story on the BBC news website. In the video, a male wedding guest gives a thumbs-up to the marriage(s), claiming that monogamous marriages across the world are breaking down as a result of adultery.

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Ramadan: A wife’s perspective (and a husband’s)

When my husband finally makes his way down the stairs, my frustration abates and he and I sit across from each other and share our early morning meal. We speak intermittently and keep one eye trained on the clock to ensure we finish our food by the time dawn prayers begin. Despite the sparse conversation and the hurried meal, I enjoy the feeling that we are both beginning our obligatory fasts together, as a unit.

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An ideal husband

The battle of the sexes – love gained and lost, marriages failed and personalities mistaken – was raging long before the demonization of Muslim men became fashionable. Choosing a spouse with religion in mind is not always a mistake, especially if your heritage and your faith are important parts of who you are. The trick is recognizing a good thing when you see it and never mistake the bad for something more.

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Part 3: The misinterpretation of “idribu” in 4:34 of the Qur’an

Wrongly interpreting idribu to mean “beat” instead of “go away” has turned at least two realities that the Qur’an has given women into myths. The reality is that a husband who wants to divorce his wife cannot hold her back by injuring her, and this protects a wife who wants to be set free. The Qur’an gives her this right to not be injured.

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Part 1: The misinterpretation of “idribu” in 4:34 of the Qur’an

Jurists have created a contradiction that is not in the Qur’an by encouraging divorce and discouraging marriage. In other words, a Muslim woman who wants a divorce must be set free without using force against her, but a Muslim woman who wants to remain married does so under the threat of being beaten. What woman would want to stay married under such circumstances?

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Muslims need “dating dialogues” to open communication

Young American-Muslims find themselves walking the tight rope between conservative Muslim traditions and liberal American culture. Because of this, Gen X and Gen Y Muslims are well-positioned to pave the way for change. Nearly all have “dated” vicariously through non-Muslim friends. Simultaneously many take their faith seriously and have a sincere desire to propagate it.

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