marriage

Love or Marriage?

Can religious Muslims choose to wait for love or must they settle down with the most practical match? We all grapple with this question, especially if we hit our late 20s and have not yet married. What is it that I really want? We all desire both love and marriage,…

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Thoughts on [Muslim] Masculinity

When I was asked to sit down and write my thoughts on Muslim Masculinity, I hit a wall. The reason for this is mostly a function of my present situation. I’ve been in a successful marriage for the last five years of my life while raising two children as a…

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Professor Atiya Aftab

Living out gender equality at home

My father grew up in India. He was raised in a conservative family and lived in a patriarchal culture. His sisters and mother lived lives that revolved around the home– raising children, preparing meals and hosting guests. However, more was expected of my father. He was, after all, the eldest…

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The joy of sex

According to empirical research conducted in 2004 on money, sex, and happiness, increasing the frequency of sex from once a month to once a week can increase a person’s happiness to the same extent as having an additional $50,000 in the bank. In a New York Times Magazine column, Gretchen…

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Who’s Your Husband?

Now, that may sound like a weighty question for a single mom to answer, but I welcome it. My four-year-old has been interested in my love life as of late (kindergarten matchmaker perhaps?) and she has approached me with one question after another on the matter.  Fortunately, her interrogations amuse…

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Are too many choices leading to an unsatisfying life?

  “I’ll have a tall, half soy, half 2%, no foam, with one pump please.” Have you heard (or ordered) something similar at your local coffee shop? Will that “perfect” order – so detailed because we are given so many choices – make every sip all the more satisfying or…

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South Asian-American Men Balance Tradition and Modernity to Find a Bride

The Urdu phrase “bus bohot hogiya hay” sends chills down Umair Khan’s spine. Roughly translated as “enough already,” it’s something Mr. Khan, 34, a Manhattan lawyer, has heard uttered by his mother, his aunt and their Pakistani-American friends on several occasions, lately with increasing exasperation. The frustration stems from Mr….

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