How Parental Wisdom Can Change Your Valentine’s Day

I’ve been through my share of cross-generational challenges, but lately I have met a place of rapprochement as I remember the things my parents have taught me, directly and indirectly, about relationships. Their wisdom has its roots in a land and culture so far away that the advice doesn’t always translate to the millennial ways of the Starbucks-drinkers and instant-satisfaction seekers. It is a wisdom that cannot be found in HuffPost articles, Buzzfeed lists or Facebook shares.

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My mother’s daughter

Every relationship evolves throughout the course of its lifespan. Some grow and blossom, others die out when the time is right and some drag on when they should have ended long ago. I think most women can agree that there is however no relationship like the one you have with your own mother. As a child, she is there to nurture and care for you. Then as a teenager, the relationship takes on a layer of mistrust.

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Why are parents making it hard to complete half our deen?

“Sorry, we’re looking for a doctor.”
“We want someone from Pakistan, not India.”
“He is too dark.”
“We have a gut feeling that he is not the right person for you.”

Do these statements sound familiar?
If you are one of the many Muslims engaged in the marriage process, it is likely you have heard similar phrases from your parents or even the parents of possible suitors.

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Communicating with parents across the cultural divide

Communicating with parents during the process of seeking a spouse is a delicate issue, especially when their outlooks are so different from our own. Some may keep parents at a distance, causing long-term tension, while others give in to their parents’ traditional demands, which may not be in their best interest. How do we find common ground that balances our independence with parental involvement? Our contributors discuss how we can more honestly communicate and compromise with parents, and the benefits that this openness brings.

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