altMen

Muslim Men on gender, love, and community

False by design: More than bad journalism

While it was not surprising that rabblerousing websites such as RadicalIslam.org or India’s Daily.bhaskar.com disseminated false reports that a well-known Saudi cleric issued a fatwa encouraging sexually frustrated rebels in Syria to gang-rape Syrian women, it was very surprising that Salon.com, and similarly well-reputed Alternet.org, were quick to publish this story as well, although they subsequently issued retractions and apologies as well. What can explain these two respected websites’ lapse in editorial judgment?

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Five Things You Ladies Need To Know About Online Matchmaking

When you hang out with single people, and happen to be single, the conversation inevitably comes around to the “marriage process.” I started to notice a pattern in the sorts of things guys complained about while using online services like http://www.halfourdeen.com or even e-harmony. While I am writing from a guy’s perspective about what Muslim men perceive as challenges when they search online for a potential mate, I firmly believe the advice applies equally to both women and men.

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Getting to know you

I opened All-American: 45 American Men on Being Muslim, the second publication in the recently unveiled I Speak For Myself series, fully expecting to roll my eyes at trite complaints about airport security or defensive rants against terrorism. Instead, I was quickly humbled by the realization that I, myself an ‘All-American Muslim man,’ was just as in need of an introduction to these 45 men as the presumably intended audience, non-Muslim Americans.

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A male response to Zeba

<< From the AltMuslimah Archives >> Zeba Iqbal wrote a series of articles concerning the state of gender relations in the Muslim-American community. Although she focused on matrimony for over-30 women, I think she highlights a much larger issue of what expectations are for and from men and women. Zeba asks where all the men have gone. Short answer, it’s a patriarchy, we screwed up, but we are in a position of privilege, so we will tell you it is your fault. You now have the opportunity to change us.

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Selective outrage: Fans, athletes and adultery

An even more popular topic on the campaign trail than his incessant fear mongering, Newt Gingrich’s multiple affairs have been a steady drain on his poll numbers. Meanwhile, rumors of infidelity undid Herman Cain’s bid for presidency altogether. While politicians’ sexual follies often open them up to ridicule and disdain for the rest of their lives, the public has shown itself to be far more forgiving towards philandering athletes. Politics does, after all, lend itself to hypocritical public posturing, whereas athletes tend not to put on masks of piety.

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Challenging the performance of masculinity

<< From the AltMuslimah Archives >>
I always find it disturbing nowadays when I hear someone, female or male, say, “Be a man.” It is an expression that is not only commonly used in our language, but also rarely confronted.
“Women are dumb,” Bryan* said, “they already have a thousand things going on in their mind about you, so when you ask her out, set a specific date and time; don’t leave it open-ended.” I think I almost choked on my dinner as I heard him advise my friend, Dave.*

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“Manhood” and the mosque

<< From the AltMuslimah Archives >>
It is jummah and I’m right on time, ready to listen to the entire khutbah. Today I’ve chosen to sit in the middle, closer to the back, hoping to remain inconspicuous. I’ll soon regret this decision. The khutbah begins, and ten minutes later, Abdullah saunters in. As luck would have it Abdullah plants himself right in front of me, obstructing my view of the imam and leaving me to crane my neck if I want a peek at our speaker.

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Dude, where’s my masculinity?

<< From the AltMuslimah Archives >>
There is an unprecedented global shift in gender relations taking place. Until our communities recognize and respond to this shift, the critical task of deconstructing the accepted rules of masculinity will remain undone, and the difficulty of finding suitable marriage partners will continue to frustrate us all.

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Masculinity in the Muslim world

<< From the AltMuslimah Archives >>
There is obviously no single definition of masculinity in Islam, due to the diversity of cultures and contexts in which the religion is practiced and interpreted. It remains nebulous which precise aspects of the Muslim world’s image of masculinity come from Islam and which are rooted in culture. What counts is what constructions of the Muslim male people perceive to be Islamic.

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