Relationships

altMen, Marriage, Relationships

Part 1: An interracial marriage: Over my dead body

Seven years ago, I married a wonderful woman. My wife-to-be was an Arab-American Muslim and I was a Cuban-American Muslim. Both she and I considered our ethnic identities incidental; after all, although my Cuban family raised me and she was brought up by her Algerian parents, we both shared the “American” after the hyphen, which made us quite compatible. For starters, English was our stronger language. We also had a similar taste in books and films, shared congruous views on the philosophy and practice of our faith, and both knew who “The Simpsons” were. We were a perfect fit, or so we thought.

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Relationships

Part 2 of the debate: Muslim Americans should not oppose legalization of same sex marriage

First things first: this is not an attempt to reconcile the Qur’an, Prophetic tradition, or classical Islamic thought with the cause of LGBTQ rights. Others more qualified than myself are doing that work. In fact, my argument depends somewhat on such a project being impossible. Let’s take for granted that Islam has no room for the accommodation of homosexuality – ignoring not only the efforts of reformist scholars, but also the numerous queer Muslims who are at peace with their bodies, hearts, and Creator. For a moment, let’s pretend that these intersections do not exist.

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Relationships

Part 1 of the debate: Muslims, don’t support same-sex marriage

On 4th August 2010, Proposition 8, a ballot initiative whereby the California Constitution would only recognize marriage between a man and a woman, was overturned. It was a triumph for those who…well, support same-sex marriage – i.e., those on the political left. I agree with many other leftist issues, such as environmentalism. But as a Muslim, I cannot support same-sex marriage.

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Relationships

EHarmony: A wife’s perspective

I was preparing to graduate from law school and move on to the next stage in my professional life. As I searched for employment, it seemed equally important that I search for a spouse. My friends and family had made several attempts at introducing me to potentials they deemed compatible but to no avail. There were only so many single men within my community, and I thought I had exhausted the local options. Short of taking a road trip across the country to scout out potentials at Friday prayers in new and remote areas, I needed a way to meet people.

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Relationships

Pro-choice and Pro-life redefined

Since the beginning of time, women have been unequivocally blessed with the ability to share in the creation of the human race, and have been revered for the tremendous responsibility of carrying life within their wombs. In tandem, some women have pondered on the undisputable weight of this responsibility, and instead have chosen “the road less traveled,” deliberately shying away from motherhood and foregoing its glory altogether. For women, witnessing how life grows within and nurturing that life from the time of conception can be the ultimate spiritual experience. It not only intrinsically ties women to the Divine, but indeed makes paradise itself lie at her feet.

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altMen, Relationships

Bridging the communication divide

In laying the groundwork for productive discussion on dating, it is essential to pay close attention to how we communicate with one another. Four panelists kick start a discussion on the communication divide between Muslim men and women, and how it must change on both the individual and communal level (Anas Coburn’s recent article also takes an in-depth look at this issue). This is the beginning of a complex and multi-faceted conversation that will expand throughout the Dialogues, and so we encourage readers to sustain it by sharing their own perspectives and questions.

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Relationships

Let the Dating Dialogues begin

Several Altmuslimah articles have examined the struggles of developing healthy marital relationships in Muslim communities, provoking passionate responses from readers. An ongoing conversation has emerged among writers and readers who are eager to discuss ways to improve our collective social well-being. The Dating Dialogues project is an expansion of this conversation that aims to explore topics such as gender relations, courtship, marriage, divorce, and sexuality in an honest, engaging, and constructive manner that will help both individuals and communities.

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Relationships

Embracing the Sacred: Love, Emotions, and Sexuality

Since my previous article, “There are Just No Good Muslim Women Out There” I received a series of responses that have challenged me to examine further some of the arguments I made and consider actionable means with which to address the issues that were raised. A segment of my article that drew heavy response was my insistence that it is a silly logical leap to assume increased emotional proximity causes unfettered sex. A recent article on CNN.com has me revisiting this issue of sexuality and Muslim relationships, fortifying my belief that rethinking relationships, and even actively discussing sexuality, is neither an inevitable nor a particularly rational progenitor of premarital sex.

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Relationships

The maelstrom of ethics and marriage

For the last few weeks, areas of the Muslim blogosphere have been abuzz about a recent article published in Emel Magazine by Imam Zaid Shakir, “The Ethics of Chivalry.” The article has been highlighted by many Muslim media outlets, including Altmuslimah, MuslimMatters, Goatmilk, Muslimah Media Watch, Meccho, and MPACUK. Imam Zaid’s article opens with a story of an engaged couple whose marriage was saved by the fiance’s chivalrously overlooking the fiancée’s unfortunate disfigurement. The story is cited as an example, albeit exaggerated, of a man showing commitment, empathy, and kindness to his wife.

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Relationships

Marrying outside the box

“It is not allowed under any circumstances for a Christian man to marry a Muslim woman. It is not acceptable.” These words belong to Dr Hojjat Ramzy, a trustee at the Muslim Iqra School in Oxford, as reported by the Oxford Times. Dr. Ramzy’s comments appear in a story highlighting the glimmer of hope Muslim women have who wish to have an Islamic marriage with a non-Muslim. The story focuses on Dr. Taj Hargey, chairman of the Muslim Education Centre of Oxford, who is one of very few Imams willing to perform Islamic marriages for Muslim women who choose to marry non-Muslim men.

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