Tonight like almost every night, I smear Vaseline between my toes, pull my hair into a bun, and go for a run with my Dad. Some nights I’m eager to sprint, opening my chest and elongating my stride the second I shut the door. Other times I stumble and begin…
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Dear Salma, I am a 25 year old Muslimah who wants to get married, but my parents refuse to help me find someone I can marry and say I am too young to get married! In the past, I have had various non-Muslim men interested in me but I have…
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Dear Salma, I was born in Pakistan, but grew up in the US. My parents however still live in Africa, and I am staying with my aunt. Some time back, a close friend of mine who happens to be a revert to Islam, had asked for my hand in marriage….
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Dear Salma, I’m a 22-year-old Muslim girl about to graduate from college. I do not wear hijab and am often in the presence of non-Muslim males who have asked me out/tried to date me. I politely tell them that I am Muslim and do not date. Recently, I have been…
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Today Salma responds to a worried wife and a misunderstood child.
Read MoreI’ve been through my share of cross-generational challenges, but lately I have met a place of rapprochement as I remember the things my parents have taught me, directly and indirectly, about relationships. Their wisdom has its roots in a land and culture so far away that the advice doesn’t always translate to the millennial ways of the Starbucks-drinkers and instant-satisfaction seekers. It is a wisdom that cannot be found in HuffPost articles, Buzzfeed lists or Facebook shares.
Read MoreEvery relationship evolves throughout the course of its lifespan. Some grow and blossom, others die out when the time is right and some drag on when they should have ended long ago. I think most women can agree that there is however no relationship like the one you have with your own mother. As a child, she is there to nurture and care for you. Then as a teenager, the relationship takes on a layer of mistrust.
Read More“Sorry, we’re looking for a doctor.”
“We want someone from Pakistan, not India.”
“He is too dark.”
“We have a gut feeling that he is not the right person for you.”
Do these statements sound familiar?
If you are one of the many Muslims engaged in the marriage process, it is likely you have heard similar phrases from your parents or even the parents of possible suitors.
Communicating with parents during the process of seeking a spouse is a delicate issue, especially when their outlooks are so different from our own. Some may keep parents at a distance, causing long-term tension, while others give in to their parents’ traditional demands, which may not be in their best interest. How do we find common ground that balances our independence with parental involvement? Our contributors discuss how we can more honestly communicate and compromise with parents, and the benefits that this openness brings.
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