In 2012, Ayesha Mattu and Nura Maznavi released Love, InshAllah – The Secret Love Lives of American Muslim Women, hoping to spur a “more compassionate and respectful intra-faith dialogue” about relationship complexities within the Muslim community.
Read More
In today’s AskM column, M gives advice to two women: one who cannot stop thinking about the past, and another who is learning how to find a partner on her own.
Read More
I am fascinated by the depth of emotion and expression of diverse perspectives evoked by the Love InshAllah blogpost “How I met my son’s mother” by Mezba Mahtab. Women and men, married and unmarried, single by choice and by chance, spoke up, and, in light of their personal stories, explained why the piece was based on ill-founded notions and this approach to marriage is detrimental to our communities.
The online community may be up in arms over the issue, but the truth is, this “buyer’s market” (as Aisha Saeed aptly called it in her response) isn’t going anywhere.
There it was, the Holy Ka’ba, right in front of me. I pressed my palms and forehead against the cool stone, my whole body overwhelmed with the desire for Allah’s forgiveness, love. After a long period of darkness in my life, I finally believed that I would receive it.
I had struggled in my relationship with Allah almost my entire life. I had never doubted that God is merciful and loving. I did not believe, however, that I would be the recipient of His mercy, because I felt sure I did not deserve it.
Read MoreLet me preface this piece by saying, this is a work in progress. I am a work in progress. Although I am not at the end of my journey, I feel compelled to share my story, if you’re willing to hear it.
I call myself a survivor. And what did I survive? When I was thirteen, and again when I was fifteen, I was sexually abused by my maternal uncle. Only a handful of people, including my husband, know this, but I suspect there are more Muslim girls carefully hiding this very same “dirty” secret than the Muslim-American community would like to believe.
Read More
It is a universal truth—although not universally acknowledged—that we all share the desire to love and be loved for who we are. We see ourselves reflected in love stories, regardless of how far removed in time and place they might be from our lives. The perennial popularity of period romances—“Downton Abbey” anyone?—shows that beneath the robes or corsets, the heart flutters in ways that we instinctively recognize even today.
Read More
I spent my time at a recent wedding listening to people’s marriage problems. As the guests danced the night away in celebration, I sat in the back of the hall talking about shattered dreams and unfulfilled expectations. Sometimes, we had to scream to hear each other over the music. There was the young woman whose husband wouldn’t let her finish her education. Then, a friend wanted advice about dealing with her in-laws. And a mother cried as she shared her worries about welcoming her daughter home as a divorcee.
Read MoreCommunicating with parents during the process of seeking a spouse is a delicate issue, especially when their outlooks are so different from our own. Some may keep parents at a distance, causing long-term tension, while others give in to their parents’ traditional demands, which may not be in their best interest. How do we find common ground that balances our independence with parental involvement? Our contributors discuss how we can more honestly communicate and compromise with parents, and the benefits that this openness brings.
Read More
One of the many issues Altmuslimah covers is the Muslim marriage crisis—not just the difficulty many Muslim women encounter when trying to find suitable matches but also the rising divorce rate in the Muslim American community. Altmuslimah has featured several commentaries on these and related topics. In her article, When I Think About Marrying, Zeba Iqbal explored the sheer irony of being told throughout her life that one’s level of education and professional success defines success, only to later be labeled a failure because she hadn’t also been able to secure a husband.
Read MoreWhen Huma Abedin, aide to Hilary Clinton, married Anthony Weiner, New York Congressman, it sent tongues wagging in the Muslim community. She did the unthinkable, the ultimate taboo for a good Muslim girl from a good Muslim family – she married a Jew… and he did not convert. O-M-G. The question that makes even the most open-minded Imams squirm was revived – Can a Muslim woman marry a non-Muslim man? The answer in all the major schools of thought has traditionally been a resounding NO. Absolutely, not. Not ever. Haraam, sister.
Read More