The Urdu phrase “bus bohot hogiya hay” sends chills down Umair Khan’s spine.
Roughly translated as “enough already,” it’s something Mr. Khan, 34, a Manhattan lawyer, has heard uttered by his mother, his aunt and their Pakistani-American friends on several occasions, lately with increasing exasperation. The frustration stems from Mr. Khan’s inability to find a suitable mate.
Like many second-generation South Asian-Americans, Mr. Khan finds himself walking a fine line between paying respect to traditional matchmaking practices extolled by an older generation and embracing more contemporary methods of finding an appropriate life partner.
His search has involved, among other things, being fixed up by professional “Rishta aunties” hired by his mother, meeting women at networking events and suggestions he try online dating.
“It’s exhausting,” said Mr. Khan, deputy counsel for litigation in the New York Public Advocate’s office. “When you’re set up, there’s another dimension to that meeting. You’ve got to give a report when it’s over. That’s the tricky part. How do you tell the referring authority you’re not interested without offending them?”
Read more here.
In particular, check out the post-script to the article:
Some on social media are challenging the article’s findings:
Image: Tom Bloom/NY Times